Quickie.

A short post to deliver my deepest wishes for SOME people.

Firstly, tomorrow's some guy's birthday.
Weird, how'd I forget who it is?

Oh yeah! Seh Sen! The one who lan-c me when going to Japan!
The one who claims himself the best looking!
The one who keeps on with his sarcasm with the gang! I'm the victim sometimes!

Anyways Happy 17th birthday dude! May your dreams come true, I mean, dream - you know who what I mean.

Nextly on 30th! The only super emo Chua!

The one who shared most of the best times in class, and out of class with the gang.
EMO GUY!
Well Happy 17th Birthday pal! And yeah. The same wish blah blah, hope you get to go out with her! Good Luck!

Last but not least, Miss Crazy: Amy Tee!

I don't know what to say. Might as much thank you for all the cool and awesome times you shared! And I'm still unhappy over your high score for it! You know what I mean.
Don't stress yourself and keep having fun like usual! Happy Sexy Seventeen! May your wildest dreams come true! I don't wanna know how wild but tell me if it comes true! ;)

That's all. Toodles.

Bridge--

This is gonna be a short post.

Just some simple update.

I am going to Taylor's ADP next year, and fortunately got the scholarship offered, notwithstanding the still EXPENSIVE fees! Going to US as soon as possible. Yeah, great. I wonder how my parents are going to pay the fees, how I love them now. Now I realize how important it is to age, to mature.

Not enough, I still have much to learn.
And urgh, this headache is totally bothering me.

Recently read a rare kind of book-where there are bad endings only..Ouch..That reminds me, I wanted to post something about resolutions, well maybe not now.

TIRED!! Read until 1.30 am last night! Amy, I think I got your disease! Cure please!

No complete coloured drawings yet. Just pencil-drawn. So none updated now.
Please, stay tuned.
Aight thats all for now. Ciao dudes and dudettes.

Rewind ;

Mood: Blogful*blogsome
Listening to: The Illusionary Patty-Ridge, Keep Breathing, tears
Reading: The Alexandria Link
Watching: None
Playing: None
Drawing: Personal Characters

Starting this blogpost taught me to appreciate my ability to remember and savour the bittersweet taste of memories. Of 5 Beta. Thinking of our last high school days somewhat taught me that everything around me, is my education.

Never I had thanked my classmates for all that, and for it I apologize. And thank you all of you, for you bring me to know the colors of life, notwithstanding the fact that i was a plain ol' black and white sketch.

The year started with a blur if I remembered clearly. How ironic. Hehe.
And I made friends out of blur. How blur is my memory, but I am thankful that I can still have memory, though not as strong as children's. Nostalgia is still one of my best mood swings though.

Teachers are just around me the whole time, teachers of LIFE.

Amy taught me to be sociable. One may address me as her bestie but to me, there's too much in common that I really hope us to be siblings, her the ELDER one, tho she's younger. She's the kind of person that mixes around, without much doubt and with her tremendous amount of experience (Amy, thank me for this and yes, it's a compliment) in social stuff, she'd probably make the best friend- of everyone. Wipe that smirk of your face,Amy! And yeah, did I mention her level of sarcasm? Wow, a competitor for liks!

And for being you, Amy, I thank you. And for willing to be a friend to an antisocial person.XD

EJ taught me that I'm not the only one's with problems and I'm not the only one who CAN go emo. Shame of me, being his cousin all these years, this year is when I really see his pain, in parallel to mine. But of course, he HAS happy moments and I am utterly butterly happy to be there for him. Honest. Frankly speaking, there are times where he irritates me with his emo power, but of course that is my subconciousness playing with me. He is quite you call the 'perfectionists' and i am pretty much one of them. I hope that going out there, the vast life our world is offering, EJ will continue to shine in academics, and of course light up his darkness inside, like I try to mine right now.

And for being you, EJ, I thank you. And for willing to continue to share all the moments. Anime moments too.

Elise taught me to be a strong person when you find yourself bound in the dangerous yet delicious world of love. And wow, she's a bright gal there. I heard she has no tuitions. And one thing I enjoy the most about her is when we complain about our little brothers! Such times are quite memorable, yet funny. She is definitely the weirdest monitor! Pss, *whisper whisper*she can't remember the teachers' names! Just kidding alright! She's one responsible monitor. And yeah, thanks for showing me breaking dawn! NOT! Argh! I'll get the whole set someday...you'll see.

And for being you, Elise, I thank you. And for willing to pass up my books. =p

*paragraph deleted due request*

And for being you, Seh Sen, I thank you. And for letting me see some cute gals. =p

Seek Sean taught me to be such a Soul Eater fan. Haha, still remembering when we kept talking bout Soul Eater every tuesday waiting for the bus. And yeah, thanks for all the protection, y'know, I feel you're like our big brother, always taking care of us. Thanks ya. And I am NOT JEALOUS that you went to Japan and watched SOUL EATER THE MOVIE!(yeah right.) Argh!

And for being you, Seek Sean, I thank you. And for being there for me in bad and good times.

Chua taught me that there are so many common interests we both have. He is definitely the finest friend back then, but alas, I've sense him changing. But my friend, please don't give in to the shadows, for you are potent in the bright. Good luck and I will remember that you and I crossed paths. Love yourself, pal.

And for being you, Chua, I thank you. And for sticking round to enjoy the best of times with me.(And I'll never forget how we both laughed at Amy when she dropped the popcorn XP)

There are so many people I want to thank but alas, with the current speed of my typing I might never follow up with my thoughts. But everyone in Beta, you have my thanks. Thanks for the memories. I can never guarantee I'll never forget you,but one thing I assure you, that I will never ever WANT to forget you all.

Special thanks here:

To my non-Beta bestest friend ever, who never hesitated to be my friend, Liks. Hanging out with you was utterly fun, but I sensed that you have not been able to cope with my mood-swing-talks, or identify them I guess, though you are doing the best among all to cope with it, now that no one can deal with it. That's why people stamp me as EMO-antisocial guy.

I am utterly grateful that fate has brought me to you. As a best friend that is. So much in common we have, but alas, we cannot have the little brother talk cuz you're the younger one, so I suppose that you have a grudge on me for being eldest? Just kidding. I can't thank you enough. I have to admit that there are times I have to hate you, but what gives? I can't believe I'm getting more and more emotional now, I feel like bursting out of tears now, but I am a strong kid now. Yes I am, cuz you taught me to be one. And you taught me how to appreciate. And the joy of life I've found it through you, half-frankly speaking. Well, I guess I'll miss you when I go overseas back to my birthplace to study. I oughta, yknow, cuz you know me, how I cant stand Banting.

And for being you, Liks, I thank you. And I can't thank you enough. And yeah, we're brothers now, and I'm younger, try to cope with me.haha.

Another friend of mine:

Erica taught me how to be a friend. She's kinda good a friend. Very good indeed. But I can never teach her to love herself enough. We're pretty much best friends, and now there's a barrier between us. Bringing myself back to memories with her, I feel that she's such a bright girl. God, why did everyone have to fall in to darkness? I guess that's human nature, that everyone has to face their own darkness eventually. Erica, I want you to know I have not changed, not at least too much to push you away as a friend, so why are you keeping it all to yourself. I want you to know I'm there for you, but you hav to be aware of kazjun's moodswings. Sorry bout that. No escaping that. Just soar free with your potential, galfren. You can do it. I don't just THINK so, I KNOW so.

And for being you, Erica, I thank you. And I still don't like Fahrenheit!

But closing this post taught me, not to dwell in the past. Memories are sweet, but thats all they are, ya? And I live in Banting fyi! Alright, time to move on! Good luck everyone, with a smile from me. =D

Am I free?-Imprisoning myself-

It has been a while since I've exploded.
And how I hate weird dreams.

Weird dreams+ Car horn to wake you up= headache+ Sudden heart leap

How I hate being human sometimes, and how I hate humans.
I don't know. I ain't knowin' nothing.

Sometimes I feel like blowing up all cover and just be myself.
A lazy, useless, arsehole.
ASS! And that reminds of me, ASS, ASS-U-ME
Ass in front of you and me, 'assumption', something humans are good and making, and always never fail to blow me up!

I mean, you all fuck me up! Stop making assumptions! (that means I've been fucking myself up all the way) And all these thinking makes me wanna puke! ALL THE WAY TO DEATH.

I figured maybe that's why I've been obsessed, by books and stories, imaginary worlds.
I just have to keep refilling with hope, notwithstanding the fact that it the well of it in my heart will eventually dry up.

Its hard sticking in the middle, desiring isolation but yet refraining from loneliness. Something that has always been in my heart will never just leave like that, and i know very well myself. (not like anyone's understand-not at least in Banting, or Klang)

Yeah, I'm feeling better now, and illusion satisfying enough.
And yeah, that's it, I just need to build myself up-all the courage, gather it; all the wisdom, pick 'em up; all the tolerance, learn them; and of course all the desires, suppress them.

I've learned lots, but not enough. I must never be satisfied, no way.
Fate, will you join me on my side?

And I will always await your reply, never more patience.

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Now playing: Shihoko Hirata - Never More
via FoxyTunes