11.12.08

Am I free?-Imprisoning myself-

It has been a while since I've exploded.
And how I hate weird dreams.

Weird dreams+ Car horn to wake you up= headache+ Sudden heart leap

How I hate being human sometimes, and how I hate humans.
I don't know. I ain't knowin' nothing.

Sometimes I feel like blowing up all cover and just be myself.
A lazy, useless, arsehole.
ASS! And that reminds of me, ASS, ASS-U-ME
Ass in front of you and me, 'assumption', something humans are good and making, and always never fail to blow me up!

I mean, you all fuck me up! Stop making assumptions! (that means I've been fucking myself up all the way) And all these thinking makes me wanna puke! ALL THE WAY TO DEATH.

I figured maybe that's why I've been obsessed, by books and stories, imaginary worlds.
I just have to keep refilling with hope, notwithstanding the fact that it the well of it in my heart will eventually dry up.

Its hard sticking in the middle, desiring isolation but yet refraining from loneliness. Something that has always been in my heart will never just leave like that, and i know very well myself. (not like anyone's understand-not at least in Banting, or Klang)

Yeah, I'm feeling better now, and illusion satisfying enough.
And yeah, that's it, I just need to build myself up-all the courage, gather it; all the wisdom, pick 'em up; all the tolerance, learn them; and of course all the desires, suppress them.

I've learned lots, but not enough. I must never be satisfied, no way.
Fate, will you join me on my side?

And I will always await your reply, never more patience.
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Now playing: Shihoko Hirata - Never More
via FoxyTunes

dishonestly by kazjun 0.0000000000000000001 secs after 12:46 PM

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ponder

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge.
That myth is more potent than history.
That dreams are more powerful than facts.
That hope always triumphs over experience.
That laughter is the only cure for grief.
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
-Robert Fulghum

The opposite of love is not hate,
it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness,
it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy,
it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death,
it's indifference.
-Elie Wiesel

All men and women are born, live suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things, and what we do to make them come about...
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
-Joseph Epstein


Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.
-Ayn Rand

Smile at each other, smile at your wife, smile at your husband, smile at your children, smile at each other -- it doesn't matter who it is -- and that will help you to grow up in greater love for each other.
-Mother Teresa


Dream as if you'll live forever...live as if you'll die today.
-James Dean